I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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