I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
