Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
