omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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