What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I would ride that face into the sunset
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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