dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
