I wannas sexs uuuuu
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
