I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
