But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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