I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
