There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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