Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she pinky promised me she was 18
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
