Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
