its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
