sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize