im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
