i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
