sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
