the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
