She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think my vagina is haunted
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize