it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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