They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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