I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
