Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize