Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
