4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
