I feel great
I just peed on a car
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
