That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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