I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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