Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
