see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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