I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
