Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
