There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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