needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
