Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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