Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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