She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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