Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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