I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
