a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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