She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
