My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
