i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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