3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
