I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize