Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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