Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
