Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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