My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
