Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
