Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize