The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
