i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
