You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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