...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize