I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
