Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she smelled like a LAN party
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
