fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
