You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
