today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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