He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize