we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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