There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
