Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
