i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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