They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
