Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
