My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
