Soap is not a condiment
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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